March 2012
29 posts
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February 2012
39 posts
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Letter from (almost) 22-year-old me to 8-year-old...
Dear Meredith,
Sometimes your Tuesday nights will end with you sitting in your bed eating frozen french fries and drinking wine from a box while watching Jersey Girl, which you recorded a week earlier when it was on Lifetime Movie Network. I don’t know if this is okay. Wait for the letter from 28-year-old Meredith. She should know.
Love,
Meredith
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literallythegutterpress replied to your post: It takes a lot to upset me. Here’s something that does:
Dear Meredith, It takes absolutely nothing to upset you Respectfully yours Claire (the foothold crusher)
H8 her.
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It takes a lot to upset me. Here's something that...
The irresponsibly uneven distribution of chocolate chips in the chocolate chip mini-muffins I’m eating right now.
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I really hope there's 24 karat gold in the golden...
Because if it someday turns out I’ve been putting up with a constant parade of assholes for a 10 karat rule I don’t know what I’ll do.
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Do you guys ever wish mechanical pencils didn't...
No. Of course you don’t. Because those suck. But today, when I found myself spending 25 minutes stuck on an elevator in the OSU Bio Sciences building with someone who, if pop culture has taught me anything, could have very easily been one of hell’s minions, I was most displeased that I lacked the proper tool for staking this kid through the heart had he tried anything demonic....
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You guys remember She-Wolf by Shakira?
I fuckin love that song.
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Sometimes my brain just really betrays me.
I got a new candle and was describing how good it smelled to someone on the phone. Mid-description my brain legitimately went, “Hey Meredith just hold the candle up to the phone so the person on the other end can smell it because that’s totally how phones work and stuff”. Why u gotta be so cruel, brain?
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I think I need to start telling more people...
“Oh, you don’t want to put my hair up for me even though my arms are soooo tired? It’s pathetic of me to ask, you say? That’s fine, because you’re going to hell.”
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I’m about to let my roommate pierce my ears because A-Mere-ica is a place where The Parent Trap is real and germs are not.
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In case you were wondering,
I have mixed feelings about the fact that I’m never going to be in a situation where an old pal from the army needs my help.
That is all.
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“I’ll stay a Chris Brown fan if he keeps coming up with hits. It’s amazing...”
– My sister is cracking herself up right now, ya’ll.
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thatwhitebitch:
Here are some comments that were...
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“Walking down the road I’m feeling lonely. But don’t be sad, be glad....”
– Daniel Johnston
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The Middle- Jimmy Eat World
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“I am so tired, you guys. Like, soooo tired.”
– Madonna
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Channing Tatum says Bon Iver with such grace that I almost believe he didn’t originally think it was pronounced Bon Eye-ver.
I only say that because I totally thought it was Bon Eye-ver until I was corrected, and I can’t live in a world where Channing Tatum is not only way hotter than me, but also smarter than me.
This girl who was a huge dick in high school just put new pictures on Facebook where she honestly looks absolutely gorgeous despite being 8 months pregnant. This pill would be pretty tough to swallow except that I’m clearly still way ahead of the game simply by like, not being pregnant at all.
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“Wait, what is today? Tuesday… right? Wednesday!? Hmm, that’s not...”
– Probably not the best response when someone asks you when you last showered.
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But do THESE bracelets come complete with the... →
Mine did. Also, the bracelets get caught on a lot of shit so I wouldn’t really recommend them— mine has snagged more scarves than I care to think about. I’d take it off, but obviously I can’t for fear of supernatural retribution. You know, normal reasons.