1.5 year old me singing the Ohio State fight song with my mom. Merry Christmas, ya’ll.
It’s a Very Mary-Katemas
Can’t wait til tomorrow when my dad unwraps this awesome plate with Lyndon B. Johnson’s face on it.
I hate when I do stuff like this because I can never tell if I’m the absolute best or the absolute worst. Probably worst.
Family Christmas #1 just concluded.
I spent most of it trying to convince my Dad that Jonathan Taylor Thomas had been killed in a random act of gang violence outside a Starbucks. I was successful enough that he spent at least 10 solid minutes sitting in a corner silently Googling it on his phone.
I am totally rocking Christmas this year.
I just spent 20 minutes trying to come up with a joke about how Scrooge was a miser, but if he had made unfounded assumptions about more things he would have been a “surmiser”, which is not to be confused with “Sir Miser”— a miser of noble lineage.
If anyone needs me I’ll be dead.
Great, now everyone is gonna walk around smelling like me.
I’m about to do the remainder of my Christmas shopping,
and I’m trying to think of a joke about how I’m going to “Mannheim Steamroll” the experience, but I can’t put anything together that doesn’t make me throw up a little in my mouth.
